My First Son

Ten years ago today this angel came into my life. He is kind, thoughtful, smart, and helpful. He teaches me about life every day. He is becoming quite dashing, don't you think?

Setting Goals

I believe in them. Unless they have to do with Personal Progress or Scouting. Oops, did I just write that out loud? I'm jesting, of course. I mean, who doesn't believe in personal progress? Anyway, goals are good. About a year ago I decided on two goals I would like to update you on.

First goal, have cookies in my pantry at all times. I decided I needed to buy cookies every week at the store. I would always walk down the cookie/cracker aisle and have this panicky emotional breakdown trying to decide whether to buy cookies or not. Kids should have cookies, they will just eat them all in one day, I will eat them all in one day, kids, should have cookies. Back and forth. I just decided not to think about it anymore and every single week I will buy cookies. Can I tell you how great this has been for our family and guests who come visit? Cookies are important tools for rewards, motivation, and socializing. And, cookies are delicious. I am happy to report the cookie buying is now a habit. Aren't you proud of me?

Second goal, a signature scent. We all know those people that every time you are around them, they smell delicious. I wanted to be that friend. Your delicious smelling friend. I decided that I would wear perfume every day, all the time. I would put on a spritz no matter where I was going, or how silly it seemed. I wanted to create a signature scent. This has been going on for about a year. The first few months I was really good about it. I have gotten kind of lazy in my spritzing. But, whether I was good or lazy about it, nobody really noticed. So, either people think I smell delicious and they haven't said anything, or I don't even want to consider the other option. I do get lots of comments whenever I head out and my hair is still wet. The shampoo smell seems to be much more alluring than any perfume. So, that is good to know.

Sunday on the River

Babies that Swim

Nathan is a crazy baby swimmer. You can't believe it until you see it. Last night he was doing back flips over and over. And we taught him how to blow bubbles so he would stop sucking up so much water. He caught on immediately. Most of the time he rides around on Jeremy's back and helps him chase down the other three. If you are holding him in the pool it is really hard because he is just trying to jump out of your arms the whole time. If you put him on the stairs he crawls as fast as he can to dive off the stairs into the deeper water. This is not my first crazy baby swimmer. It is my fourth. We get lots of stares. Especially when we throw him out into the middle of the pool. I know it seems nuts, but he loves it so much. He comes up smiling with water pouring through his gap teeth. Oh my.

It's a Monday

So Matthew was in the shower last night. I walked by and heard him belting out "I'll catch a grenade for ya. Put my hand on a blade for ya." Do you know the song? Bad parenting, or totally awesome parenting?

I was at Fred Meyer today grocery shopping sans kids. At the checkout the clerk casually asks me, "Do you have any plans later?" I gave him a blank stare. "Are you doing anything fun the rest of the day?" Ummmm, no was my answer. That was so weird. Am I supposed to have fun plans later on a Monday afternoon? I guess I should have told him all of my real fun plans. I am hoping to make it home in time to unload the groceries and scrub two toilets before my kids get home from school. Then I am going to do homework and make dinner all with a baby attached to my leg. Does that sound fun? Do you think he was asking me out? Ha, ha, ha!!!! Now that would be fun-ny!

What's Baking?

You see these cookies? This is art. love. brilliance. These are gluten free snickerdoodles. Oh, I can't even say enough about them. They are divine. I can't help it, I have to tell you how brilliant I am at gluten free baking. It's weird too because baking was never really my thing. I am all about the savory. But for some reason I am really good at making delectable gluten free treats. For the most part I come up with my own recipes, like these cookies. Ah, and it just makes me so happy. You should see Spencer's face when he comes home to a new batch of treats. Really, you should see it. It would make your day.

We decided to try going off the gluten free/dairy free diet in December. After doing the diet for two years we were all ready for a break, and I was starting to wonder, does it really work? It was a great month because there were so many yummy treats and parties he could partake in. By January it was very clear that we needed to go back on the diet. But, I kept putting it off hoping maybe things would still turn around. I remember one day in January and I looked at my 4th grader basically in a ball crying on the floor. I realized he had been a crying puddle on the floor for most of the last few weeks. Everything was so upsetting to him. Anything we asked him to do resulted in tears and yelling. Everything, anything, all the time. That was a huge moment for me. I went back on the diet the next day, and within even 24 hours he started doing better. I didn't want to put him back on the diet because it felt mean. But I realized not putting him back on the diet was more mean. He needs it. Spencer was a little reluctant, but the only thing he asked was if he could take a break every December. I thought that was pretty thoughtful.

Another Book

I just finished this book, and I thought I should throw this one out there too. This book is really three stories in one because he was an Olympic athlete, a plane crash survivor, and a pow in Japan during WWII. The book was riveting, but I have to warn you. It was one of the most brutal POW stories I have ever read. It was extremely detailed and unsettling. At one point I only kept going because I had to get through it and make sure he would come out the other side.

Oh, and I only like stories with good endings. They don't end up together, one of them dies, they both die?? Don't even think about recommending one of those stories to me. One place in my life I am a true optimist is in my book and movie choices. And this book has it right on the cover. Survival, Resilience, and Redemption. Perfect.

Biographies

I love them. I love reading books about WWII, Mt. Everest, the Holocaust, and so much more. Real life is almost always better than fiction. I mean when crazy things happen to you, (strange baby in your bedroom???) you just can't make that stuff up. I have been surprised to find out through the years attending different book groups that a lot of people avoid Biographies. Here are two great ones I wanted to share.

The Bob Woodruff story is amazing. He was the news anchor embedded in Iraq when a bomb hit the tank he was in. I love that they wrote the book together. They switch back and forth during the book, and each give their own unique perspective. Their life was fascinating to me. And the way they supported each other during a massive crisis was really inspiring.

Now I am a big Bush fan, but especially a Laura Bush fan. I have always been fascinated how the two of them ended up together. I think they are the real deal and I wanted to hear her side. I loved reading her story. Her book was better than his, although I enjoyed it too.

Winter Blues

The "stink" face. My boys have perfected this look. You have to have attitude, and this kid is full of it!

The blue eyes!

The gap tooth smile!

I got this idea from my sister. Bust out the popsicles in the middle of winter. Why not? I was done with winter this year on January 1st. Not good. It has been a looong one. This is Nathan with his first popsicle. I know I post too many pictures of my baby. I can't help it. I didn't have such a cool camera with my other babies. So, I guess our 4th child is actually going to have the most pictures taken of him. I am tired of long sleeve shirts. So, I went out and drastically highlighted my hair. Seriously streaky, with dark and blond highlights. Too bad the grammys are over. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I am going to try and rock the look anyway. I can pull it off. Right?? Whats that? You want to see a picture? Not likely!!!

Temple Grandin

Jeremy and I read this book about a year ago, but we finally got up the courage to watch the movie last night. It took me about 6 months to get the courage to add it to our netflix queue, and then 3 weeks sitting on our table before we finally watched it. You see it takes courage because watching and reading stories about autistic people can be really hard. Sometimes it is just too hard.

The book was so fantastic I knew we had to give the movie a try. Especially because it has been winning so many awards. In her book Temple so clearly explains what is going on her mind and how she processes information. She has helped unlock some of the mystery behind autism, not to mention her contributions to agriculture.

Anyway, the movie was good. It was an emotional roller coaster, and after it was over Jeremy and I just looked at each other and said, "We made it through the movie." Can I just say how painful it is to see how people treat people who are different? We all do it. Ugh. Through the years you learn to not think about it too much. I can't worry every second about Spencer getting teased at school. It happens. It will continue to happen. So, most days I just think about the good moments he is having at school. And thankfully, there are plenty of those too.

Of course for me the best parts of the movie were the angels that came into Temple's life right when she needed them. The roommate, the professor, the Aunt. We all pray for people to help our children when we can't be there. You celebrate small victories when you have a child with autism. You celebrate things most parents take for granted. What was so inspiring about this movie was that she had big victories too. Not only going to college, but graduating, and then going on to have a career. Which is why my motto has always been, don't underestimate my kid. Don't do it. He will show you every time. Every time.

Bath Angels

The Misters

Nathan is Mr. Demanding. We cannot figure out how a fourth child can be so high maintenance. I thought they were just supposed to blend in with the crowd. Not this one. He is taking steps, but not walking yet. He refuses to eat baby food anymore, or do anything but sit up to the table and eat exactly what we are eating. He is my first true blankie baby, insisting on taking that blanket everywhere he can. Nathan loves his brothers and feels very sad if he wakes up from his nap and they are all gone. That makes me sad too, because why is he awake when they are all gone?

Matthew is Mr. Techno. He moves from the wii to the ipad to the leapster to the computer. Trying to keep this under control has become a full time job for me. He is also very excited to learn how to read and is our first child to start making these efforts on his own. Matthew asks me every day to have friends over to play. He tries so hard to keep up with his older brothers. Matthew also goes around calling everyone and everything a weirdo. I'm hoping this phase will pass soon.

Sam is Mr. Imagination. You can always find him in his room telling stories he makes up to his brothers. They love to hear every day what he dreamed about. Apparently he has amazing dreams every night and he can turn them into full blown stories that go on and on. He has a great group of friends at school. They also make up elaborate games during recess. Sam is a whiz on his electric scooter. He is just waiting out winter until he can spend all his free time outdoors. He is so protective of all his brothers, and loves to carry Nathan around the house.

Spencer is Mr. Skier. He is spending his Saturdays on the slopes at Bogus in ski lessons. He is doing great, and really enjoying it. Spencer is having another great year in school and working hard to earn his Bear for Scouts. He is very excited for some new movies coming out this summer including Kunfu Panda 2 and Transformers. He has also gotten into music, and his favorite two songs are "The Cave" by Mumford & Sons and "Break Your Heart" by Ludicris. He likes to control the radio in the car now.

Jeremy is Mr. Busy. He is spending long hours at his job and teaching another semester of Business Law at the local community college. He is also excited to spend some time on the slopes this winter. Jeremy has been reading Harry Potter and The Chronicles of Narnia to the boys every night and they love it! He also spends a lot of time going on dates with his wife, and she loves it!

Love Month

Jeremy and I went to lunch today and when I got in my car to go home I found this on my seat! Aren't I lucky? Matthew and I had a photo shoot, and then I accidentally deleted all but this one. So, this is what you get. And I get a perfect pink rose to start February. Thank goodness we have moved on from January!

Dennis

This week marked three months since the passing of my Father in law. I have been mulling over this post for a few weeks, trying to figure out how to express my feeling for this great loss in our family. I can only express my feelings as a daughter in law, and know that they are not the same as the feelings of his children.

I miss him. This has surprised me a little bit. The first month was hard, lots of memories and feelings, and so difficult watching Jeremy. But then the next month I just kind of moved on. He was not a part of my every day life anyway, so I just didn't think too much about it. This last month has been hard again. It is time to see him again, time to be in touch.

I saw a great movie this past weekend. The first person I wanted to tell was Dennis. I loved talking movies with him. And politics. He was not the easiest person to talk to, and over the years we found topics we were both comfortable with. Most conversations were on the surface. But on rare occasions movies and politics helped us talk about deeper issues that were important to us. And funny. I loved to hear him laugh about a funny movie scene or an idiot politician.

I think my favorite memory with Dennis was going to the Harvard Law School graduation with him. Just the two of us. Jeremy only got two tickets to the big Harvard ceremony for all the colleges. We were the lucky two, and I loved being in that moment with him. He was dressed to the nines, as he usually was. And he was so proud of his son. It was awesome. And then we headed out to the Cape that weekend. He was so at home on the beach. Best weekend with my father in law ever.

The other thing that has surprised me is my anger. I know, so cliche. To be angry in your grief. And that makes me mad too. To be so predictable. But I am mad, maybe at God a little bit. I know, I shouldn't think that. But I am.

Because we all have a few people in our lives that define us. These people are so important to us that we need them like air. Always there to keep us breathing, even when we can't feel it. And God took one of my husband's people. His dad was one of his people. And he took him from my love. And that makes me mad. Really mad. Jeremy needed him.

So, that is how I feel right now. Life throws you these weird curve balls. And sometimes you forget to duck. Slam. Right in the face. Great.

What? When? Why?

These are the questions I am constantly asking my kids.

What are you doing?
When did you do that?
Why are you doing that?

And the answers are the same, EVERY TIME.

Nothing.
I didn't.
I don't know.

Obviously I should have made a resolution not to ask these questions anymore. I am constantly amazed at the things I have to ask my children. I just can't believe they didn't come to this earth with any idea about anything. I just keep thinking some things will come naturally. Like not licking the trash can. Isn't that obvious? No, it's not. Don't drink the water out of the gutter. Come on, really? Don't put your head near people's rear ends. I know, I know. But these are conversations that happen regularly at my house. And I know I am not alone.

Tv and Me

After an inspiring weekend early in October I decided to make some changes in my tv watching. I have tried this many times before, but I just always gave in because they would automatically record on my dvr and it was just so easy to give in after a long day. But this time I decided to get serious. I decided to just eliminate a couple shows every few weeks instead of going cold turkey. I am just so tired of all these shows pushing their social and moral agendas all the time. I immediately deleted the worst offenders from my recording schedule. I kept taking one more off every few weeks. I finally eliminated my last two guilty pleasure shows last week. I am excited about the shows I am still planning to watch. Hopefully I can find better things to do with my time this year besides all the junk tv I used to watch. Here are the shows that have made the cut.

The Biggest Loser
Community
The Office
Parenthood
The Amazing Race

I love watching these two shows with the kids.

Extreme Home Makeover
Wipeout

Anybody have any shows they like watching with their family? I feel like I need another series to get into. No more reality shows. Believe me if it is not on the list, I am not interested in watching it. Don't even think about mentioning Dancing with the Stars.

The big ONE

The Scene

I had my first official piano recital at my house tonight. It was intimate and fun and so rewarding to see my students perform. They did wonderful and I might have cried at the end when I told them how well they did. Not very professional, but what a blast!

Happy Wandering Baby

This morning I found Nathan sitting in front of the tv with this pile of crackers he had brought over to enjoy. Are babies supposed to be eating Saltines? Are they a choking hazard? I have no idea. To be honest I seem to have gotten stupider with each child. I have no idea what they are supposed to be doing at what age, and what I should or should not be allowing them to do. Nathan just wanders the house getting into all kinds of things. Yesterday I found him after he had tipped over the garbage and was rummaging through it trying to find something yummy. Nice.

Happy December

Black Friday

I love it.

I really love it. I have developed a strategy that has worked wonders over the years. And now I am going to share it with you. First of all, I don't really Christmas shop on black Friday. I shop for myself. For me it takes away most of the stress and is just the most fun shopping day of the year! I enjoy the crowds, meeting people in line, finding amazing deals. These are three things I do not really enjoy on any other shopping day. Well, I like finding amazing deals, but I am not willing to put in the work.

So, that is what you should know about me. I am a snobby shopper. I hate stores like Ross, Marshal, TJMax. Ugh, shoot me now. I know there are amazing gems in the junk at these stores, but I just don't have the patience. But one day a year I am willing to enjoy bargain shopping, mostly because the stores make it so easy.

I have discovered the perfect time to go shopping on black Friday. I have tested my theory in Virginia, Utah, Oregon, and Idaho. So far it has passed the test in these four states at several different malls. Now that is another thing you should know. I like to mall shop that day. I avoid the big superstores and electronic stores. I'm sorry, but that is where the crazies are headed. Most days if I make it to the mall it is with some kids in tow, and I have to get in and get out in record time. Black Friday is my day to hit any and every store I want.

Now, the perfect time. There is a secret window of shopping time. It is between 9am and noon. The crazies are heading out by then because they have been there since 4am. And the families that are sleeping in start to arrive around noon. Most early bird specials last until 11am, some even until 1pm. So you are getting the same deals as the crazies that showed up at 4am. You can find a parking spot easily, and there are usually not lines at checkout.

I realize that some of you are ready to write comments defending the crazies. Because you are one of them, and it is the only way to get the best deals. Fine. You might be right. But do you love black Friday as much as me? Are you having as much blissful fun as me? Pleasantly strolling and enjoying every moment of the holiday shopping experience? I refuse to race someone to the back of the store for that perfect deal. How about you?

Buds in Stripes

This week has been a tough one for many different reasons. Mostly because being a Mom is just hard. But look at these pictures. I mean really. Really. I am so lucky!

Halloween

Well, life moves on. And that is difficult, but refreshing too. I have been amazed at how many little blessings we have seen in the past few weeks. For example, getting to spend Halloween with our Utah family! We continued the super hero theme. Nathan did not dress up. I don't do baby dress up. Sorry! See? I am supposed to be a boy Mom!

I was so impressed with their cousin Josh going trick or treating with his much younger cousins. What a sweet kid! He was so helpful with Matthew when he was having trouble keeping up. Love that!

This is Jeremy's Omi, she is always so sweet and loving with our boys.

One Week Ago Tonight....

We got the very unexpected news that Jeremy's Dad had passed away. The grief is overwhelming and deep, and especially to witness through Jeremy's eyes. I love this picture today after spending the last week with his siblings and appreciating their great strength and grace in dealing with their Father's passing. The funeral was a beautiful tribute to him and his life.

Soccer and Onions

I love this picture of Sam playing soccer. This pretty much sums up his soccer season. Running on the field with a smile on his face. He loves to run the entire length of the field smiling and waving at us. He has a good season with much improvement getting into the action. Sam is a defense man, and he is especially good at tripping any opponents who try to score a goal!

This year the farmer behind our house decided to plant onions. It has been one big stink bomb around here for the past few weeks during the harvest. They finally finished the job this weekend. Our house is covered in dirt. I can't get away from the smell of onions. The dumbest part of my weekend was buying onions while this was going on outside my window.

30 seconds of Nathan