Friday, September 9, 2011

Questions with some Answers

Well, I feel like it is time for another post about my son Spencer, who has autism. I had some interesting discussions with family members this summer and realized there are so many questions and relatively little knowledge about my son's condition. Which stems mostly from the fact that the medical community feels the same way. There are so many unanswered questions, they don't even know the cause of autism and why it is spreading like crazy. And every child with Autism is completely unique. The saying goes, If you have met one child with autism, you have met one child with autism. So, here is my update about my son.

Spencer is starting 5th grade this year. He is in a regular classroom, at a public school. He does very well academically, which is becoming more clear as his brothers have begun school as well. He is the most amazing speller. Maybe some of you parents can appreciate this, but we basically have never gone over his spelling list with him through all the years, and he aces his test every week. Lets not talk about vocab, but if you say any word to him, he can probably spell it. Fun, huh?

We have the highest hopes for Spencer. The FAQ's I get all the time, will Spencer go on a mission, will he get married, will he do well in college? I understand why these get asked, I ask myself these questions all the time. But really, can you answer these questions about your 5 year old, your 7 year old, your 10 year old? I'm sure he will do all of that, and more, or maybe not, because you know things happen in life and don't always work out the way you plan or dream. I am learning to roll with things. This is hard for me, but he is the most amazing kid! Spencer is our best job kid. Maybe its his age, maybe not. You give him a list of jobs, and BAM, they are done. Done really well. Spencer goes to scouts, he has gotten all of the awards, no thanks to his Mom that's for sure. Spencer plays the piano, he skis, he swims, he is the best older brother. Spencer loves babies. Thanks goodness my sisters are keeping that going because he is loving it! He cooks, he cleans, he asks to have sleepovers.

He may not always answer your questions when you ask them, but keep talking, keep asking. He is not ignoring you, he doesn't always know how to respond in social situations. And the truth is, if he doesn't find the conversation interesting, he just won't participate. He is not great at social small talk, but that's ok, right? He doesn't really understand vague questions like, how are you? How was your day? If you ask specific questions, you will get a lot more answers. Spencer loves to talk about all that stuff that 10 year old boys love to talk about. Start that conversation with him, and you are golden. If you don't know what that is, take a look around his room. It is all Spencer.

7 comments:

Rebecca said...

Anyone who knows Spencer, aka spell checker, knows that he and his parents are AMAZING! Thanks for sharing the info and your thoughts!

Troy and Nancee Tegeder said...

That was great Molly. Thanks for posting that. You really are an example and support for so many others. I think we all know somebody with autism and I am grateful for your openness.

Karen said...

I love that you know so so so much about Spencer. I mean yes you are his mom, but you have been so dedicated to him and it's awesome. Spencer is awesome and we love him to pieces!

Katie said...

Spencer's room is one of my fav kid rooms ever!
I love it!
I love his collections, his swing, the spider-man, his pictues, etc.

still can't get over he's in 5th grade!!!

Kathy said...

I love this post! I love Spencer through this post! And I love you, Molly, because of the great love you show in this post! Awesome! This makes me want to spend the day with Spencer! I hope I do some day.

encim said...

I love spencer, hope he is always alright

Jenn S. said...

I still remember when Marc and I got to watch baby Spencer when you and Jeremy were in NYC one night and went to see a show. Marc hoisted him up on his shoulders and we walked to central park to play with him on the swings. We just couldn't stop talking about how great of a kids he was! He was and is such a sweet and handsome boy who will do GREAT things! Side Note, I'm reading a novel that is really interesting, I wonder if you've read it? It's called the Curious Incident of the Dog? It tells a story from the perspective of an autistic boy, obviously he is not the same as Spencer, but it has been so interesting to me. If you read it, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. :)